


Ryoken Needs to Stop.

by GRiDGALAXY



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS
Genre: Crack, Datastormshipping, Kusanagi is scarred for life, M/M, Ryoken is a nudist, Ryoken is bad at a lot of things, Specter is probably babysitting 18+ year old Ryoken, Yusaku doesn't know how to deal with Ryoken's bullshit, Yusaku is done with Ryoken's shit, datastorm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18531097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GRiDGALAXY/pseuds/GRiDGALAXY
Summary: As a cyberterrorist and anti-AI elitist, Ryoken refuses to give into ‘the system’.





	1. Ryoken is Too Casual

A few months ago, Ryoken had invited me to his house for the first time. I was as ecstatic as I would permit myself to become; Excited on the inside, but relatively neutral on the outside. I wasn't sure what sort of things I would experience by visiting his house as a friend for the first time, but if I'm going to be perfectly honest, I sure as hell couldn't have foreseen that.

Night was falling, I was going through my deck and dueling through fake scenarios because Ryoken had gone off to take a shower. I wasn't really focused on what I was doing, because it wasn't really all that fun. I was having a better time when I was dueling Ryoken earlier. When I heard footsteps coming down the hallway, it didn't take me long to eagerly lock onto the origin of the sound and follow its approximate position in the adjacent hallway with my eyes. The it came closer and closer, then the door handle turned.

Then the door pushed into the room slightly. I opened my mouth to greet Ryoken, but what I saw next made my jaw drop to the floor instead.

Ryoken casually strolled into the room, with a towel around his neck.

And nothing else.

“R… Ry… Ry… Ryo… Ryoken...!” I stuttered, feeling awkward as all hell.  
“Hm? What is it Yusaku?” He asked way too nonchalantly.  
“You're… naked…” I blinked, realising I had been staring. Quickly, I looked away.  
“Oh, whoops. Let me go put some on.” He chuckled, pretty much ignoring my shock.

Ryoken spun around and left the room, and closed the door behind him. I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. This wasn't something I was comfortable with at all.  
I spent a while thinking over the horrible moment. I eventually decided that it was a mistake. I mean, Ryoken had lived alone before that happened, and was probably used to being able to do whatever he wanted with nobody to watch. Next time he invites me over he'd take more care, surely.

I was sadly mistaken.  
Ryoken did it the next time. And the next time. And the time after that. And every other time after that.  
I had three options; I confront him, I could stop going to his house or I could just learn to live with his bullshit habits.

Option one was one I didn't want to have to carry out. It sounded not only emotionally exhausting, but judging by Ryoken’s casual demeanor every time he showed up naked in front of me, trying to bargain with him would probably be as productive as trying to convince a brick wall that cockatoos are purple.

Option two, while effective as to saving my already tainted eyes, didn't quite sit right with me. I loved being able to stay up and duel with Ryoken without the hassle of fans and haters in VRAINS, and just have a friend to hang with in general. I didn't want to give up this little glimmer of happiness I had found. My place was completely out of the question, as there was no way I was going to drag Ryoken into that crappy, run down apartment and feel like a good host.

Option three was the only option left. I had to learn to put up with it. While not the best option for saving me the sight of my best friend completely nude, it was the lesser of three evils.

So for a month or two, I've been playing Duel Monsters at least one night every week with my best friend, who is naked. Every. Single. Time.


	2. Ryoken is a Nudist

Yesterday, I was helping Kusanagi out with Cafe Nagi, grilling hotdogs alongside him. We were in the town square, watching VRAINS duels on the plethora of screens lining the north wall, while serving the many customers who made orders. It was a super busy day by Kusanagi’s standards.

There was, however, a time in the afternoon where the business died down because everyone was too fixated on a duel taking place between some charisma duelists on screen. It was during this time that I learnt about another unbelievable habit of Ryoken Kogami.

It all started when I went to get some frozen sausages out of the freezer, and part way through completing the task I heard Kusanagi gasp suddenly and drop his tongs onto the grill.

“Kusanagi, everything okay?” I had asked, looking up at him. He looked pale and shellshocked.  
“Yusaku… Whatever you do, don't look out into the city square…!” He croaked.  
“Uh… why...?”  
“It's…” He trailed off.  
“Kusanagi, I'm sure it’s not that bad-” I said, moving back over to the grill.  
“No! Stay there!” He was panicking.  
“I don't care if Ai has hacked the screens again to display questionable content, or if there's a bloody corpse in the middle of the square, I want to see. I can handle it.”  
“No, Yusaku! You don't understand!”

I ignored Kusanagi and peered out the window. The crowd was no longer viewing the duel, but were now all focused on a particular individual in the middle of the square.

A certain naked individual.

Ryoken was walking towards the hotdog van, a couple of crumpled notes in his hand.  
“Oh. Is that all?” I sighed, underwhelmed.  
“What? I know you're really reserved, but how does this not even slightly phase you?!?” Kusanagi asked, shocked.  
“It just doesn't. Let me handle this.” I stepped up to the grill and Kusanagi stepped aside. Ryoken reached the window.  
“A hotdog and a coffee, please.”  
“Okay.” I put a sausage on the grill and got to work. Kusanagi kept watching, both mystified and terrified.

“Ryoken-sama!” I heard a yell come from the crowd, and a man in a grey blazer started sprinting out of said crowd and towards the van.  
“Uh oh…” Ryoken bit his lip.  
“Not again Ryoken-sama!!!” Specter scolded him, stopping just behind his leader, “I swear, you and your nudist tendencies!!! You're coming back to my apartment to put some clothes on!”  
“Well I don't want to put clothes on.”  
“Someone is going to call the police on you at this rate!” Specter facepalmed.  
“We can just hack the police system-” Ryoken shrugged. Specter snatched his hand.  
“I’m afraid that won't happen. You're coming with me.”  
“But my hotdog-”  
“The hotdog can wait when you're already showing everyone your own!!!” Specter hissed, tugging his hand and dragging Ryoken away from the van and into the distance.

“Hey, Yusaku…?” Kusanagi asked suspiciously over the noise of Ryoken yelling objections in the background.  
“Yeah?”  
“Are you… used to Ryoken doing that, just like Specter?”  
“...Uh....”


	3. Ryoken is Unusally Touchy

Sometimes when I visit Ryoken’s house we don't duel, but instead we watch movies. Pirated ones, of course.  
Ryoken’s favourite movies are ones from the 21st century. I don't watch movies much, so I don't really have a favourite genre or era.  
A few days ago we had one such movie night. Ryoken and I were sitting next to each other on beanbags. We were watching ‘Hugo', a rather crappy adaptation of a brilliant book I had read once to pass time. Ryoken seemed kind of interested in the movie since the plot was completely new to him, but slightly put off at the same time by the childishness of the delivery.

Despite being slightly disgusted by the poor recreation of the book, I watched intently, looking to pick up differences, errors and, if I was lucky, anything that was done well. Before I knew it, time was flying, and we had reached the middle of the movie. I made a mental note to treat watching movies as a game when a similar situation arose in future.

My train of thought came to a sudden, disorientating halt when I felt a hand on my thigh.  
“Uh… Ryoken, you good?” I asked. I quietly rejoiced in the fact he wasn't naked for once and couldn't make this any more awkward than it needed to be.  
“Yeah, why'd you ask?”  
“Your hand is on my thigh.”  
He looked down at said hand, “That it is.”  
“Why is it there?” I asked, monotone.  
“Dunno. Is it bothering you that my hand is there?”  
“Yes.”

Then he asked the one thing I hoped he wouldn't be dumb enough to need an answer for.  
“Why?”  
“Because” I strained my voice and mentally face palmed, “This is something that people do when they're being _intimate_.”  
“Oh yeah, I guess it is.” Ryoken removed his hand and went back to watching.

A few scenes later, a weight comes down on my lap.  
“Ryoken, what the fuck are you doing now?” I sighed.  
“Putting my head on your thighs.”  
“Didn't I explain why I didn't like this a moment ago?!” I tried to hold back my urge to snap.  
“I just thought that if hands are unacceptable, maybe heads are more acceptable?” He shrugged.  
“No! Heads are even worse!”  
“Oh, that's too bad I guess.” He sat up, fixing his hair.  
“Look, just… just watch the damn movie.” I clenched my hands into fists. Ryoken didn't notice them sitting by my side.

Ryoken didn't do anything dumb again for the rest of the movie. He just sat and watched. I did the same, while also playing my analysis game.  
It wasn't until the credits started rolling that Ryoken got up. I assumed he was going to turn the TV off or something, but then he just dropped his butt into my lap and sat there.

“Ryoken…” I said, blood boiling, “What in the fuck are you doing now?!”  
“Sitting in your lap.”  
“Why are your legs wrapped around me for crying out loud?!”  
“It seems easier to talk to you when I'm facing you.” He said as if it were the most obvious thing.  
“You know what, yeah.” I had agreed, a vein in my head throbbing and my tone drenched in sarcasm, “This makes it easy to talk. And you know what we're going to talk about?”  
“What?”  
“Your indecency you've displayed tonight!”

He never did understand what I was trying to tell him, so I just did the same thing I did with his unsolicited nudity. I ignored it.


	4. Ryoken Doesn't Understand Privacy

This morning I was at Ryoken’s house because I had decided to stay the night. I'm not used to getting ready in the morning when I'm away from home. All my school trips and camps are the only experience I have of anything like that, plus a handful of other mornings I've spent at Ryoken’s place.

This morning started like any other sleepy morning at his abode. Ryoken ran me a bath and made breakfast while I made the bed I slept in and cleaned up some of my stuff, as well as doing a bit of packing.  
Like normal, I ate breakfast with him, then went off to the bathroom.

I washed off, then got in. The bath was nice and warm. I sat in the tub, relaxing for a while and trying to figure out what I was going to do later today. I considered many things. Maybe I should hang out with Takeru? Maybe I should log into to VRAINS and do some dueling? Perhaps Kusanagi would require help at Cafe Nagi?

My moment of peace and quiet where I could plan out my day was promptly shattered by the door being slid open and Ryoken entering the bathroom. Naked.

“Uh…” I breathed, watching him casually wash himself then step into the other end of the bath. Thank goodness it was a large, western style bath, or this could have been worse…

“Aaah, the water is nice.” He commented.  
“Ryoken…?” I asked, ready to lecture him if necessary.  
“Yeah?”  
“What are you doing in here?”  
“I'm taking a bath with you.”  
I sighed. At least he didn't just say ‘I'm taking a bath’ and ignore that I was there.  
“Ryoken, are you familiar with the term _privacy_?”  
“Yes.”  
“If somebody wants _privacy_ , what does that imply?” I narrowed my eyes to a glare.  
“It implies that they wish for private, personal space where they can either go about sensitive matters without concern or not have others see something.” He answered.  
“What if I said I wanted some privacy right now?” I asked.  
“I wouldn't see why. Is there something you're keeping from me?”  
“Ugh…” I buried my face in my palm.  
“What's wrong, Yusaku?” He looked somewhat concerned.  
“You know what? Nevermind. Let’s just get this bath over and done with.” I said, groaning.


	5. Ryoken Honestly Understands Jack Shit at This Point

I hopped into bed, and pulled the covers up. Hopefully tonight I wouldn't have a nightmare. I closed my eyes and inhaled. There was no way of knowing for sure. I just had to take my chances.

I spent a couple of minutes focusing on sleeping before I was disturbed. My duvet shifted and my back felt cold for some reason. Eventually the blanket shifted back and my back felt warm again, but something was different. There was something wrapped around my side and a weight pressing into my back. Don't tell me…

“Ryoken, what is this supposed to be?” I asked, far too tired to get mad.  
“I just thought we could share a bed.” He responded in a whisper.  
“You're hugging me.”  
“Yeah, what about it?” He asked.  
“This is something intimate people do.”  
“I'd say we're intimate…” He trailed off. He sounded disappointed.   
“Ryoken, we're not dating.”  
“Oh? That's not what I meant. I meant that we're close as friends.”  
“Why do you do these things, Ryoken? Don't play dumb.” I sighed.

“Now that you put it into context, I think I can explain. I just think society has dumb rules regarding what you can and can't do with a person, y'know? Let's make our own rules!”  
“Fucking hell Ryoken…” I whined, “Personal relationships are not the ideal place for activism. If you want to be intimate and stuff, how about we just start dating so it isn't weird for me?”  
Ryoken paused, then replied, “Yeah, that doesn't sound too bad.”  
I turned over to face him and put an arm around him, “Cool. Now can I get some sleep? I'm exhausted.”  
“Yeah. Goodnight."


	6. Happy Hotdogs

“Hey Yusaku.” Kusanagi greeted me as I approached the van window, “What do you want today?”  
“Could I have my usual and Ryoken’s usual please?” I asked, handing him exact change for my order.  
“Sure thing.” He fired up the grill, “Mind if I ask why you're getting Ryoken’s order too?”  
“He's here with me.” I replied simply.  
“Hm? Where?” Kusanagi poked his head out of the window and looked around for Ryoken. Eventually he found him be looking into the crowd gathered in the square.  
“Uhh… He's… naked again.”  
“That he is.” I nodded.  
“Why?”  
“Dunno. I might try it sometime.” I answered, taking the hotdogs, “Maybe then I'll know.”


End file.
